Carl Plesner

About me

These are some session topics that I (at this moment) imagine I can bring to an IIT. All topics are aimed toward ordinary life situations with family, children, colleagues, friends and business partners:

  • Thoughts about what NVC is: a way of understanding life, a way of using power and a way to communicate, or?
  • Exploring and practicing processes of reconciliation and restoration of relationships
  • How to mediate conflicts
  • How to negotiate mutual caring and satisfying agreements with family, friends, colleagues and others
  • Transforming rebellion / submission to choice and self-empowerment, for yourself and others
  • When and how to apply the protective compassionate use of force
  • De-fusing anger and aggression, revealing and reconnecting with the life-enriching energy behind it
  • Restorative practices; how to maintain mutual caring relationships, fellowships and communities in order to prevent violent conflicts
  • What to do when “NVC doesn’t work” (hint; there’s always a way forward with NVC)
  • Exploring the relationship between love and violence
  • Children as our teachers in gardening: how to support seeds to grow and flourish and become that unique beautiful life-enriching plant that the seed always where meant to be.

These topics arrive from my experiences working with NVC. Mostly, I have applied NVC in working with a large variety of conflicts, and to a somewhat lesser degree I have worked as a NVC trainer. I have worked primarily in these three fields:

The first sphere is restorative justice and reconciliation. Working for Danish police for 5 years I have facilitated numerous meetings between receivers and authors of violence. This includes cases of domestic violence, and basically many other forms of violence one can imagine.
From this I have learned about how to apply the tools of NVC to support healing and transformation between parties in the aftermath of violence. I have learned a lot about how violence are connected to dignity and about those mechanisms in society and relationships that promote the possibility of an individual choosing violence as a strategy.

The second sphere is working with schoolchildren (in ages 11-15). I was a hired by schools as a “dialogue learning facilitator” to work with school classes that struggled from a tense and stress full social environment.

From these children I have learned a lot about how children evaluate and interpreted the acts of adults and what reasons children have have when they lie and rebel to adult authority. And also about what makes children submit to adult authority and what consequences it has for them. I have also learned a lot about what children sees that adults can do in order to support a safe, trustful and friendly learning environment in schools.

The third sphere is conflicts at national community levels. Since my participation in the revolution almost 4 years ago in Ukraine I have in various roles worked intensively responding to this and the following war with Russia. Both as an individual, as an international diplomat and now in a NGO.

In this sphere I have talked with, listened to, trained and facilitated dialogues and negotiations for radical ultra left and right wing groups, armed activists, riot police, military, armed rebel separatists and so many more involved in war, riots and violent confrontations ranging from a local community level to national levels.

From this I have learned a lot about the compassionate use of force as an opposite to punitive use of force. I have learned that the mechanisms I saw with authors and receivers of domestic violence and from the children are the exact same as the mechanisms at a national/international level. I also learned about why there’s still so much war and conflict in the world, and some particular reasons of why NVC doesn’t always make a miracle of peace in war, uprisings and riots.


These days I am lead trainer of training programme in which carefully selected Ukrainians are learning skills such as negotiation, mediation, dialogue facilitation and NVC in general. During this 1-year full time training programme participants receive around 67 days of training within the first 6 months, and the rest of the time they work in their local community in order to support that community to respond to disputes nonviolently.

The participants receive a scholarship during this year in order to support their living. The aim is to build local capacity in Ukraine to engage and respond to any type of conflicts that are hurting the people and splitting the communities.

Short Description

As a colleague in the team I think that you may experience me as flexible, highly curious and mostly calm and relaxed team member in meetings. I also hear from people that I at times in trainings can be perceived as intense in my energy, and for some this can be experienced as overwhelming and for others as inspiration and resonance.